Being a “Misfit”

When I was first saved in September of 2016 everything in me changed.  There were some changes that were instant and other changes came as I began to spend time in prayer and in the word of God.  However, the changes that happened instantly I was not prepared for and I became a misfit in my own life at 44 years old.  I felt out of place at home, at work, with my friends and yes even at my church.

Before I was saved, I thought I had my whole life figured out.  I was happy and content with my life just as it was.  I had a great marriage, 2 wonderful daughters, 3 beautiful grandchildren, and a job I enjoyed.  I was perfectly content with my life.

I grew up in church but I had never had a personal relationship with God but all that changed on that Sunday in September.  Until then I had never asked Jesus Christ into my heart.  I had never truly acknowledged that he died for ME on that cross or asked him to forgive me of my sins.  When God got a hold on me that day, I had no idea he would change me so drastically.  I began to pray to him  to forgive me of all my sins and to dwell in me forever.  I begged him to save me on that day, to make me into the woman he created me to be.  I asked him to remove all the darkness, hate, bitterness and filth that was in my heart, mind, and soul.  I asked him to fill me with his light so that other could see him in me.  I can tell you the person I was when I started praying that prayer was not the same person that ended that prayer.   Yes, there have been changes that would come over time as I grew in my relationship with God but other changes were instant.  There were things that I used to enjoy doing that I immediately did not want any part of.  My thoughts about success, money, and people changed immediately.  My goals and dreams in life changed in an instant.  My friends and family were not used to this Tressie and had to get to know her.  My conversations changed and the words I used changed.  They would tell me you have changed, you are different, and I knew I was different but I could not totally explain it to anyone.   They love me and have been great.  I am very blessed to have the family and friends that I do.  My husband still adores me and I still adore him even if I am not the same person he married almost 29 years ago.  I thank God every day for him.

God led me to a great church.  You can feel and see their love for God and that they want to serve him.  I knew the moment I walked in that I belonged there.  Still, I would look around and feel that everyone there had it all figured out.  They knew where they were in God and they knew where they were going in God.  I felt they knew their purpose and where they fit in the church and I didn’t know where I fit in anywhere.  However, I couldn’t wait to get to Church each week because I was so hungry for the word of God.  I felt that all the services ended way too soon and I would leave looking forward to the next service.  Everyone there showed me so much love and made me feel so welcome.  My church family will never know how much I needed them then or how much I still need them.

In the beginning of my Christian journey, the only time everything felt normal was when I was praying and reading my bible.  My one on one time with God was where I truly fit in.    It has truly been a great year and I have never felt such peace and love in my spirit as I do after accepting Christ as my Savior.  I still don’t have it all figured out and God is still working on me but I love him more today than I did the day I was saved.  I would not trade this journey with Christ for anything in this world.

I think it is during this “Misfit” phase that we can lose new Christians back to the world.  It is easy to turn back to your old ways because that is familiar and comfortable for you.  Satan comes after you hard during this phase trying to convince you that you can’t do this, you are not good enough to do this, and everyone is going to laugh at you when you fail at this.  Just remember those are all Satan’s lies.   If you are going through this phase just continue walking by faith.  God is always there and he will continue to grow you in him.

If you have grown in Christ and you are beyond this phase then please do the following for the new Christians:

• Make new Christians aware of this phase and prepare them for it.  We need to be there for them. We need to spend time with them and pray with them.
• Lift them up in your daily prayers to God.  Ask that he guard and protect them from Satan and all of his lies.  Pray that they keep their eyes on Jesus and stay close to him.
• But most of all we need to continue to show them love and show them our love for God.  Teach them how to worship, pray and read the word of God.  Let them know that you will be there for them, even if they mess up.